Saved by the rays

Brilliant white hot sun against blue sky
Brilliant sun rays © Zora Zebic 2016

 

I had a terrible dream, my being filled with dread when I’d woken. I remembered every detail of this dream, which is not common for me. I rose from my bed and stretched my limbs, an effort to shake the memory. This dream happened when I was 17, and now at age 61, I still have not forgotten it.

The dream was of me sitting in a movie theatre. I was without a companion, although the seats were crowded. I was puzzled because messages were quite visible on the movie screen. Messages that were not relative to the movie. They were commanding messages, telling me “You are always under surveillance.” “Obey the laws at all times.” “Do everything your government tells you to do.” “Your superiors are to be obeyed at all times.” “Your thoughts are heard.” “There is no safe place to go if you try to escape.”

I’d turned to a girl sitting beside me and asked, “Why are all these words on the movie screen?” The girl turned to look at me wearing an expression of puzzlement. She said, “What words?”

There was a sudden rustle in the audience. A lady shouted, “She sees our commands. Grab her!” Hearing that I’d bolted from my seat and ran from the scores of people who had, in obedience, risen from their seats to join the chase.

“Oh God, what have I gotten myself into this time? Please help me!” I prayed as I rushed to open the door. The swarm of people were getting closer as I burst out into the sun-filled day. The brightness of the day either blinded them, or God had answered my panicked prayer, as none had followed me out of the building.

I would later learn about “Subliminal Messaging”, but I had never heard of it then. To this day I wonder about that dream. Could my subconscious have picked up on messages while I shopped at the mall? Could my mind, not able to reconcile what was happening, force me to have the dream? Perhaps so, as I totally understood when this type of messaging was explained to me.

© Zora Zebic 2018

Recounting, a day at a time

Frail, thin woman sitting on a round chair. Boys soccer and basketballs in background.
malnourished and hiding in a hotel room with my son’s basketball, soccer ball and football in the background © Zora Zebic 1990

I’d moved to St. Catharines, Ontario, relying on a promise from a relative. It was supposed to bee a steady babysitting job, while the relative worked at her government job. I’d always found it a breeze to care for children, and it had sounded like a great alternative to working for the man!
To my son’s great disappointment, I’d asked him to say goodbye to his friends. We’d packed the house into a rental truck to move to the apartment I’d found for us. My friend Stanley had offered to drive us and our truckload to our new home.
While we’d unloaded the furniture and boxes into the apartment, Stanley had become extremely agitated. I’d asked him what was up. I did know he liked to imbibe in a little too much beer and I’d thought he was feeling a need.
Stanley, bristling at my suggestion, had then asked, “I don’t get why the hell you would move into a place with cameras everywhere!” I’d been stunned and had asked, “What cameras?” Stanley had pointed to the wall in the hallway and asked, “Can’t you see them?” I couldn’t see any cameras, and I’d told Stanley he needed a drink.
Stanley then stormed out, and I was saddened by the harshness of my words, as I’d watched him drive away in the rental truck. To this day, I wish instead I had insisted Stanley prove to me there were cameras on the walls. I would not have suffered so much, and shamefully I admit, my son would not have endured such horrors.
The move to St. Catharines, Ontario was not the beginning of my nightmare, but I did not know that then.
© Zora Zebic 2018

A conundrum

Raindrop on train window with view of fog in field
Fog in a field, and train track, seen through train window @Zora Zebic 2018

 

Life, sometimes, is filled with questions, confusions and despair.

That said, from that perspective, if a rapist were to have his victim hypnotized, and during that session, extracted forgiveness for his crime, is the forgiveness valid?

I read today, “In the Jewish tradition when you wrong a person, it’s up to that person to forgive you.”

He is Jewish. Don’t get me wrong, there is some Jewish blood in my veins also.

All that said, the victim’s personality is prone to forgive, however, the victim did not forgive knowingly and consciously. Therefore, is the forgiveness valid?

While confusing, this is not to say forgiveness would not be properly granted, should the rapist ask genuinely for repentance.

This is a conundrum.

© Zora Zebic 2018

Amherstburg’s earthquake

Brass bird, listening to birds in trees
Barry enjoying the songs of the birds in our backyard. © Zora Zebic 2017

Truth be told, we just experienced a 3.6 magnitude earthquake. We heard a very loud boom and the place shook. I, sitting at the computer, felt the earth shake three more times!

Our home is in Amherstburg, and we rent an apartment in Windsor. We were at the apartment when the earth moved under our feet.

My husband will be obligated to go to the house in the morning. He was planning to go anyway to enjoy the backyard and the many birds this season. He will fill the bird feeders and count the flocks of feathered friends who sing to him.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/windsor/earthquake-hits-windsor-essex-1.4627782

Collingwood’s Dogwood

dogwood bush with snow and dead grass
Dogwood in Collingwood © Zora Zebic 2018

Driving out of Collingwood, Ontario I’d noticed brilliant-barren-of-leaves-red-stemmed bushes dotting the landscape. Online-searching hit on Dogwood Bush.

I’d never seen this bush, or most likely I’d never noticed it before. It had been a treat to the eye. Perhaps, someday, Dogwood will grow in my yard. Another trip to Collingwood, with a shovel in the car, and I may get permission from a landowner to harvest some of their awesome bushes!

© Zora Zebic 2018

Chai Tea to Warm the Soul

Ahh, to warm the soul!

The Dancing Herbalist

If anyone knows Carmen they know I can find humor in everyday mundane things. For example, when I’m working remotely at a coffee shop, I always chuckle when I hear people at the counter ordering chai tea lattes. You might ask what’s so funny about that. Well friends, chai is the Hindi word for tea, which originally comes from the Chinese word cha (as well as Korean), so here in the West, we’re literally asking for a tea-tea. Now do you see the humor?

Anyhoo, I love chai. It’s warm and inviting, sweet and creamy, and spicy. Masala chai means mixed-spice tea. So, similar to the garam masala food spice mix, it is composed of a wonderful mix of black tea, milk, sugar and various aromatic, pungent and spicy herbs. Drinking a nice warm, creamy cup of chai is a wonderful way to get a daily dose of an…

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